Ah yes, peaceful desert exploration! WRONG!!!! There’s absolutely nothing peaceful about this set! The 5918 Scorpion Tracker is undeniable proof that mole-people are secretly ruling the world – THE WHOLE WORLD!
Let’s take the obvious first. There’s not one but TWO tools for digging in this set. A shovel AND a pickaxe. First of all, who needs two tools for digging? That seems excessive. Unless…. unless you are trying to take over the world by undermining EVERYTHING – LITERALLY! And B! Who digs? Who’s life can be equated to digging? Who could not move without digging? MOLE PEOPLE – BOOOOOOOM! That’s the first clue that Mole People are controlling the world.
There’s more! Look at the wheels of the scorpion tracker. What do they remind you of? A pizza? Sure! Well spotted! And what do you do when you’ve eaten a pizza? You go to the toilet and p**p. And what is one of the most famous childrens books out there? The Story of The Little Mole Who Knew it Was None of His Business – a story that is FAMOUSLY about p**p! BOOOOOOOM!
But wait, there’s more! The scorpions in this set is undoubtedly dangerous. Some would even call them tiny monsters. And what is the BIGGEST monster? Godzilla! Where do we know Godzilla from? The movies! The first Godzilla movie produced in the US was Godzilla from 1998 with Matthew Broderick (aka Ferris Bueller!). Who played the news reporter in that movie? Harry Shearar! Harry voices several characters on The Simpsons. Who is a VERY IMPORTANT character in the Simpsons series? Hans Moleman! MOLEman! BOOOOOOOOM!
There you have it, the final evidence that super-intelligent mole people are secretly controlling the world!
When you look at the 31069 you are maybe marvelling at the wonderful details at the windows, maybe you enjoy the car in the garage? But watch out. If you look too long you’ll realize the TRUTH! There’s a flock of lizards taking over the world!
Why do you think the main nuances of this set is white and red? White is the same nuance as summer clouds and red is the same color as red roses. When do roses bloom? In the spring and summer! What else is springy? The surface of a lizard! BOOOOOM!
Look at the green plate in front of the main door. You may think: oh, that’s a nice color! WRONG! It’s the same color as lizard skin! And what else it the same color as lizard skin? Money! Money are green – it’s a fact! BOOOOOOM! The lizards have already taken over the money!
Now you are probably thinking: well, green is all well and good. But that doesn’t prove anything! But wait! There’s more! Look at the first floor of the villa. How many windows to you see? Two? And what do they look like? Eyes? YES! The look like two eyes! And what else has two eyes? LIZARDS! BOOOOOOOM!
There you have the FINAL proof of a huge flock og Lizards taking over the world.
You see this LEGO set and you are probably thinking: “Hey, that’s a nice Townhouse Café and Pet Shop”, right? WRONG! It’s actually an intricate map of a super-intelligent mind-controlling computer!
Look at those red ladder-things on the side! They clearly look like the cooler unit in a computer. But that’s just the first clue! The cup on the side has two shades – blue and what else is blue and white? The Finnish flag! And what computer company comes from Finland? Nokia – their company logo is ALSO blue and white! BOOOOOM!
So now we have two clues – the colors of a computer and cell-phone giant and some computer radiators. And you’d think that there’s no more clues. But there is. Oh yes, there is!
Look at the tree and the sign above the pet shop. What do you see? Two birds? Excellent! Where do we know birds from? The Twitter logo! And how many tweets would it take if you had to write one symbol for every brick in this set? 3,417 – which is almost exactly (but not really) Pi. And how many sevenths does it take to make Pi? 22! Which is precisely the amount of 1×4 Dark Azure Bricks times two, that’s in this set. And what is another name for Azure? BLUE!!!! AND BOOOOOOOOOOM! We are back to the blue and white in the Nokia logo!
There is no denying it! There are plans for a giant, building sized, mind-controlling super-computer in this LEGO set!
Is it a peaceful sunflower or is it a statue that celebrates brain-eating aliens from outer space?
Everyone knows that outer space is big – very big. There are many places out there and many places where aliens can live. We don’t know much about these aliens but everybody knows that they must have a color! And BOOOOOOM: there’s colors in this set!
There’s nine colors and white in the model. White is not a color. And what isn’t a color either? Black! The Aliens from the Aliens movies are Black – boom! But! That’s not all! What color are aliens traditionally depicted in? Green (little green men)! And there’s three light green and one regular green pieces in this sunflower! The earth is the third planet from the sun! Ahem: BOOM! Little green men and Aliens are coming to take over the world in a green flying disc!
Don’t believe me yet? How many leaves are on the flower? Eight! Eight is one less than nine. Why would there be fewer leaves than there are colors? Because everyone knows that Clint Eastwood was in A FEW Dollars more! Clint Eastwood starred with Morgan Freeman in Unforgiven, Morgan Freeman Starred with Dan Aykroyd in Driving Miss Daisy, Dan Aykroyd starred with Sigourney Weaver in Ghostbusters! AND who starred in all the first four Alien movies? Sigourney Weaver! BOOOOOOOOOM!
It’s undeniable: Aliens are coming from outer space to eat our brains!
It seems like a cute little nostalgic set but in reality it’s a tower that celebrates a secret society of spidermen!
Did you ever wonder why there’s a small spider in this set and why it’s near the water? Everyone knows that spiders don’t live near the water – at all. They hate it. In fact, I once heard a spider say: “I really hate water”, and that should be proof enough. So why is the spider near the water and not near the tree? Well, if you count there’s exactly – like EXACTLY; two – TWO: studs from the spider to the edge of the water. Everyone knows that B is the second letter of the alphabet and that 2 is the second number in the row of numbers! Bam-bam-baaaaaaaa!
But it gets weirder! Everyone knows that Emo Peter Parker was in the THIRD Sam Rami Spiderman film. And what number comes after two? BOOOOOM: it’s 3! This is the first evidence that this set is really a celebration of a secret spidermen society!
Not convinced? Look at the red X on the front of the model. You see a red X leading to a treasure – yes? WRONG! This X has four – FOUR – points pointing to every corner of the world! And what lives in the world? BOOOOOM: Spiders!
I’m sure you can find even more evidence. But, who needs it – it’s clear! There’s a secret society of spidermen ruling the world!